(Coruscant, Galactic Core)
Yesterday, the children of Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad visited the Crimean Peninsula. Legally claimed by Ukraine and occupied by Russian forces since 2014, the region refers to itself as the Autonomous Republic of Crimea. The annexation of the region by the Russian Federation is one of the pivotal events that helped to spark the Ukranian Civil War. The Crimea has properly been Ukranian territory since 1954.
Bizarrely, a new international airport was reported as having opened up in Sevastopol, Crimea. The airport's practical functionality is slightly less than international, however; the airport only offers transit to Russia, but also offers flights to Mars and Venus ... and Coruscant, the hive-city world that served as the capitol of the Star Wars universe's Galactic Republic and later the Galactic Empire.
The nonexistent companies Venus Airlines, Star Lines, and Cosmoflot offer passage to the three planets on the airport's website.
In 2013, a popular petition was circulated on the WhiteHouse.gov website that urged NASA to begin construction on a Death Star by 2016. While the petition gained nearly 30,000 signatures, Paul Shawcross (Science and Space Branch, Office of Management and Budget) responded to the public's desire for super villain status: "The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon ... the [Obama] Administration does not support blowing up planets."
It is unclear whether Vladimir Putin is training Bashar al-Assad as his Sith Apprentice as of yet.
Chair -- Revan M. Filiaexdeus
Revan Filiaexdeus is a freelance journalist and social activist who has been following the Syrian Civil War since it's origins in the Arab Spring of 2010. He is passionately dedicated to an objective covering of these events, facts-based war reporting and proactive, humanitarian peacework for the ultimate benefit of the human race as a whole.